Hillary Clinton Elected President in Historic 2018 Mid-Terms

The Blue Wave came and washed Hillary Clinton ashore like so much stinky ocean debris. Our first female president will immediately take up residence in the White House.

We didn’t want her. No one wanted her. No one voted for her. She wasn’t even on the goddamn ballot.
– Public statement by the Democratic National Committee

Former President Donald J. Trump said, “I’m happy for her, I really am” before dunking his head into a nearby vat of hydrochloric acid.

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